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 Helping your children

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PostSubject: Helping your children   Fri May 09, 2008 1:59 am

As-Salaam Alakium,

Here are some tips you may want to follow in helping your children grow up with Islamic values.


Start by teaching them the importance of Worshipping only Allah: The best thing any Muslim parent could ever teach their children is to emphasize, from the day they can comprehend, that Allah (swt) is One and no one is worthy of worship except Allah (swt). This is the fundamental message of our Prophet (may Allah?s peace and blessings be upon him) and it is our key to Paradise.

Treat them kindly: Kindness begets kindness. If we were kind to our children, they in turn would show kindness to others. Our Prophet (may Allah?s peace and blessings be upon him) was the best example in being kind to children.

Teach them examples of Muslim heroes: Instead of Batman or Superman, tell them about real heroes such as Abu Bakr, Umar ibn Khattab, Othman bin Affan, Ali bin Abi Talib (R.A)and others. Tell them how Muslim leaders brought a real peaceful change in the world and won the hearts of Muslims and non-Muslims alike.

Let children sit with adults: It is preferable for children to be among adults, especially when listening to Islamic lectures. The Prophet (may Allah?s peace and blessings be upon him) would often put children in the front row when he spoke to the people.

Make them feel important: Consult them in family matters. Let them feel they are important members of the family and have a part to play in the growth and well-being of the family.

Go out as a family: Take family trips rather than allowing your children to always go out only with their friends. Let your children be around family and friends from whom you want them to pick up their values. Always remember that your children will become who they are around with most of the time. So, watch their company and above all give them YOUR company.

Praise them: Praise is a powerful tool with children, especially in front of others. Children feel a sense of pride when their parents? praise them and will be keen to perform other good deeds. However, praise must be limited to Islamic deeds and deeds of moral value.

Avoid humiliation: Similarly, do not humiliate them in front of others. Children make mistakes. Sometimes, these mistakes occur in their efforts to please the parents. If you are unhappy with your children, tell them in private.

Sports: The Prophet (may Allah?s peace and blessings be upon him) encouraged sports such as swimming, running and horse riding. Other sports that build character and physical strength are also recommended, as long as the children maintain their Islamic identity, wear appropriate clothes and do not engage in unnecessary mixing.

Responsibility: Have faith in their abilities to perform tasks. Give them chores to do in line with their age. Convince them that they are performing an important function and you will find them eager to help you out again.

Don?t spoil them: Children are easily spoiled. If they receive everything they ask for, they will expect you to oblige on every occasion. Be wise in what you buy for them. Avoid extravagance and unnecessary luxuries. Take them to an orphanage or poor area of your city once in a while so they can see how privileged they are.

Don?t be friends: It is common in the West for parents to consider their children as friends. In Islam, it doesn?t work that way. If you have ever heard how friends talk to each other, then you will know that this is not how a parent-child relationship should be. You are the parents, and they should respect you, and this is what you should be teaching them. The friendship part should be limited to you and them keeping an open dialog so they can share their concerns with you and ask you questions when they have any.

Pray with them: Involve them in acts of worship. When they are young, let them see you in act of salaah (salat). Soon, they would be trying to imitate you. Wake them up for Fajr and pray as a family. Talk to them about the rewards of salaah so that it doesn?t feel like a burden to them.

Emphasize halaal: It is not always good to say ?this is haraam, that is haraam?. While you must educate them on haraam things, Islam is full of halaal and tell your children to thank Allah (swt) for the bounties He has bestowed on them- not just for food and clothes. Tell them to be thankful for having eyes that see, ears that hear, arms and legs and, the ultimate blessing, Islam in their hearts.

Set an example: As parents, you are the best example the children can have. If you talk to your parents rudely, expect your children to do the same to you. If you are disrespectful to others, your children will follow too. Islam is filled with Divine advice on the best ways to bring up your children. That makes it an obligation upon parents to be good Muslims so their children will try to emulate them. If you don?t take Islam seriously, neither will your children. It goes back to our third point, which is to give them Islamic heroes. As a parent, you should be their number one hero.
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Hot Ice
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PostSubject: Re: Helping your children   Tue Sep 02, 2008 8:59 pm

I think it is very difficult
Because the new generation treatment difficult
thanks my dear

But every success from God
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PostSubject: Re: Helping your children   Thu Sep 04, 2008 2:22 am

Hot Ice wrote:
I think it is very difficult
Because the new generation treatment difficult
thanks my dear

But every success from God
yeah its a bit hard
but allah will help inshaallah

thanks alot dear may allah bless u
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tearful_eyes
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PostSubject: Re: Helping your children   Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:02 am

Aslamu alakum
children nee to be taugh from the onset and be taugh constiantly. Parents need to be the example as the children will pick up on hpocracy quickly, basically ractice what you preach inshaallah.
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PostSubject: Re: Helping your children   Tue Sep 09, 2008 4:50 am

tearful_eyes wrote:
Aslamu alakum
children nee to be taugh from the onset and be taugh constiantly. Parents need to be the example as the children will pick up on hpocracy quickly, basically ractice what you preach inshaallah.
ah you are absolutely right and also mashaallah you are a mother of 3 cute children may allah protect them for you inshaallah
thanks alot dear sis for sharing such an important idea

may allah bless you
fi aman allah your sis kawthar

ns043
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PostSubject: Re: Helping your children   Tue Sep 09, 2008 10:28 am

aslamu alakum kawtar sorry i seem to be missing letters from my post more to do with my keyboard than my spelling (247) i think!

I am a home educator and mine are not so cute anymore :(248): all grown up, i have a teen and 6 1/2yrs old and 9yr old mashaAllah Alhamduilah .
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PostSubject: Re: Helping your children   Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:10 pm

tearful_eyes wrote:
aslamu alakum kawtar sorry i seem to be missing letters from my post more to do with my keyboard than my spelling (247) i think!

I am a home educator and mine are not so cute anymore :(248): all grown up, i have a teen and 6 1/2yrs old and 9yr old mashaAllah Alhamduilah .
no no no its ok i had that problem in my key bourd befor we can understand u

oh mashaallah may allah protect them for u
so dear you have three kinds of children teen , junior , kid and every single one should have a different educating can u tell us how do u educate them as a western muslima living now in the west and how do u warn them about haram things

if u have time tell us dear and if not u can tell us later we will wait u my love

wa salam
your sis kawthar

btw. these questions are for u to show others how to educate their kids and because i saw that u are an amazing house wife

good luck dear

fi aman allah
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PostSubject: Re: Helping your children   Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:57 pm

[quote="Kawthar"]
tearful_eyes wrote:
do u educate them as a western muslima living now in the west and how do u warn them about haram things

if u have time tell us dear and if not u can tell us later we will wait u my love

because i saw that u are an amazing house wife

ah[/center][/b]

inshaallah i will but not so soon as i don't have much time but inshaallah will come back to chat about it inshaAllah.

i don't know about the second statement , mashaallah sister you see me that way, i may get a big head if you pass me comments like that too often! Shukran anyhow (239)
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PostSubject: Re: Helping your children   Wed Sep 10, 2008 9:15 am

[quote="tearful_eyes"]
Kawthar wrote:
tearful_eyes wrote:
do u educate them as a western muslima living now in the west and how do u warn them about haram things

if u have time tell us dear and if not u can tell us later we will wait u my love

because i saw that u are an amazing house wife

ah[/center][/b]

inshaallah i will but not so soon as i don't have much time but inshaallah will come back to chat about it inshaAllah.

i don't know about the second statement , mashaallah sister you see me that way, i may get a big head if you pass me comments like that too often! Shukran anyhow (239)

ah its ok sis take your time when ever u are free u can share with us

ahhhh of course do u know i can say that now u are a good example to us and the arabian muslim sisters cos u did your best to live your islam in a westren country
not like some sisters in the arab world (not all)

am proud of u love teddy
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PostSubject: Re: Helping your children   Today at 6:55 pm

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